Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto

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I want to give bi people who have also struggled [advice on] how to respond, when to respond, and when not to respond. I worry that his cavalier attitude towards some things could be dangerous in the wrong mind, but I don’t believe that’s his job or duty to monitor. Boyslut is a memoir-manifesto in which Zane articulates that, even today, we live in a world that shames people for the sex that they have and the sexualities that they inhabit. He is also the founder and editor-in-chief of Boyslut zine, which publishes real sex stories from kinksters worldwide.

Most fascinating, I thought, was the casual way it traced Zane's sexual evolution, from considering himself straight to bicurious to bi to polyamorous. Even the one acknowledgement of antibiotic-resistant gonorrhea is flippantly dismissed with the reasoning "If (or when) we start to see major outbreaks of antibiotic-resistant gonorrhea, I'll start wrapping it up, but until then, I'm going to keep raw-dogging it" (160). Of course sometimes it might be confusing, but the confusing part is where you usually realize that you are attracted to the same sex or other gender not only women (from a man's point of view). From talking about the weird things we’d do as kids or the sexual guilt we can feel growing up, or how we have to stop the shame around STIs, Zane manages to keep you invested as well as making you feel like you’re in a gaff having four am banter with a close mate. has written this refreshing collection of personal essays as an effort to get to the root of the sexual shame that runs rampant in American culture and help others lead more shame-free lives.I think books like this, or more important than ever and I’m glad to see that more books like this or being published. From stories of drug-fuelled threesomes and risqué Grindr hook-ups to insights on dealing with rejection and living with his boyfriend and his wife, Boyslut is reassuring and occasionally funny – a testimo Nonbinary people transcend gender stereotypes, so there’s no place for them in conversations among those who perpetuate the idea that “men are from Mars” and “women are from Venus. I have a lot of notes, and my gremlin brain is going crazy because this review won’t get anywhere if I choose to go into each annotation.

And don't get me wrong, we had a lot, but he's way too interesting a person to have only given us that much.We recently featured a very popular interview with Zachary on our Instagram Live, in which he opened up about his sexual experiences, exploring polyamory, orgies, anonymous encounters and his thoughts on how to lead a fulfilling sex life in a long-term relationship, not to mention bi-visibility and dismantling toxic masculinity. He has a unique ability to balance humor with a deep appreciation for the vulnerability and humanity of his subjects. Boyslut is largely Zach’s personal story (with lots of sex scenes) interwoven with a kind of owner’s manual for living without guilt as a non-monogamous bi person in today’s society. From stories of drug-fueled threesomes and risqué Grindr hookups to insights on dealing with rejection and living with his boyfriend and his boyfriend’s wife, Boyslut is reassuring and often painfully funny—but is most potently a testimony that we can all learn to live healthier lives unburdened by stigma. He currently has two columns: “Sexplain It,” the sex and relationship advice column at Men’s Health, and “Navigating Non-Monogamy” at Cosmopolitan, where he shares all the mistakes he’s made in his polyamory journey so you don’t have to.

Do head on over to that after you’ve enjoyed this special podcast episode with a brilliant reading from Boyslut! There is an entire chapter discussing how STIs are no big deal and that while they aren't fun they ought not to be stigmatized. The book has some interesting tidbits about concepts I didn’t know about - “top privileges” for example, but it was riddled with personal anecdotes described in such detail that I wasn’t expecting. I want to scream, ‘I’ve had sex with more men than anyone in here, and my girlfriend has fucked more women than any lesbian in here! I expected to feel really seen by this book but instead I often felt dictated to by someone that at times seemed to be really insecure or boldly declaring inherently wrong things.This book invites you to reflect on your sexual identity and approach to such conversations; how societal programming enforces a feeling of shame when discussing sex. Enjoy the Literary Salon podcast's Book of the Week where each bite-sized episode offers an exclusive taster of a new book. And it's not in a by-the-way aside or pandering way, it's sincere inclusion that I appreciated every time.

The author reads, and I really appreciated his absolute refusal to abandon his embrace of being a slut. When you have a woman around your arm, you’re seen as one of those awful straight people co-opting that space. The New York based author bares all in this memoir-manifesto, exploring how, even today, we live in a world that shames people for the sex they have and the sexualities they inhabit.Boyslut seeks, as its tagline says, to be both a memoir of Zane's life while also acting as a manifesto to empower bisexual men to embrace their bisexuality. Having sex helped me unpack the structural systems that idealise an unhealthy masculinity, promote queerphobia, and perpetuate sex-negativity. A sex and relationship columnist bares it all in a series of essays-part memoir, part manifesto-that explore the author's coming-of-age and coming out as a bisexual man and move toward embracing and celebrating sex unencumbered by shame.